Weekend Coffee Share : the wise and the bully.

the-wise-and-the-bully

In my last Weekend Coffee Share post, I wrote about the wind of change and this nagging feeling a big change was coming my way. Back then, I thought it was meant to be this job I had interviewed for. I thought I was finally going to become a full-time Junior Designer. But now I realise the universe was lining up something much bigger for me.

I we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you, with a slight quiver in my voice, “I’m moving to Paris!”. I would tell you that I have a set date and that on February 23, I will be climbing on the Eurostar and gliding along to Paris, “La Ville Lumière”. I would struggle to find the right words to explain my feelings right now. “Excited” would feature, of course, but the truth is, it is a lot more complex than that.

Two days ago, I was asked to voice the two conflicting voices hashing things out in my head. There was the wise voice, and then there was the other voice, the little voice inside our heads, the one we’ve all tried to silence at some point in our lives – the bully.

The wise voice sounded like this:

This is all for the best. England taught you a lot. You grew immensely in those 6 years and counting. You lived the London experience and will have endless stories to tell. You found your first love and nurtured a 5-year relationship. You made friends for life. You travelled all throughout the country and saw so much of what it has to offer. You perfected your English to such level can now teach it as a foreign language. England was a success.

The bully sounded more like this:

England was a failure. You got a degree in interior architecture and no job out of it. You were financially independent for about 6 months in total, the rest was never quite enough. You’re 25 and still no prospect of a career. Your social life failed. Your relationship failed. What’s to say you will find the right job in Paris? What’s to say you won’t end up miserable, unemployed and alone? You’re leaving because you failed.

This was a tough exercise. I heard the atrocities other me is capable of and they sounded just like the words a bully might utter. An unnecessarily evil, emotionally detached, self-sabotaging bully. And now that I’ve put those words down on paper, they appear even more tainted.

I’m telling you all this because I’m not the only one. The wise and the bully exist within all of us and our thoughts can help tip the scales against the bully and in favour of the wise. And I guess that’s what I’m doing today.

Before you go, pay the creator of the #WeekendCoffeeShare community Part Time Monster a visit and explore other coffee shares of this week on this linky.

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32 responses to “Weekend Coffee Share : the wise and the bully.

    • Funny you should include a piano emoticon. There is a piano (good quality keyboard with a pedal) at my best friends house where I’ll be staying.
      That definitely helps with staying positive! :)

      Liked by 2 people

      • I’m pleased to hear that, and wish you the best in Paris. If you have to move, what a wonderful place to go! I envy you. I look forward to hearing all about it 🎼🎹

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  1. Paris…how exciting.
    :-)
    It does sound like you learned a lot in England.
    I know all about the wise/bully scale. It’s always uneven for me, but I wish you all the luck in the world on your next adventure.

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  2. Congrats on making a new, big, and terrifying decision. :) I think it’s probably natural, all things considered, to feel as you do. I had similar thoughts when I decided to leave grad school and pursue other things. Here’s to looking on the bright side and learning to let go of that nagging voice.

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  3. Ahh dear Elise, London, England will miss you! We all have our bullies, don’t let yours win. Listen to your wise self. You’re young, Paris awaits with more adventures. Wonderful! LIve them now, and I wish you the best that life has to offer whereever you go… <3

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  4. I know we’ve only met once, Ellie, but when I read you were leaving I felt a brief moment of loss. And then I realised you’d still be here on your blog, so I won’t miss you as much as I thought I would.
    It would be easy to say that there are no failures, only learning experiences. But it’s hard to remember that at times.
    You have the chance to look forward now, though, and make the most of new opportunities. You’re clearly very gifted in many ways, so you will find the right path for yourself. There will be hurdles along the way, but there will also be moments of great joy – and often all the more joyous because of the hurdles.
    Good luck with your future – but make sure we get to join you for the ride, even if it’s only via the blog.

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    • I was so moved by your comment, Graeme, thank you so much. I will definitely keep blogging, with the added bonus posts about my Paris discoveries. I hope I’ll be able to travel up for the Bloggers’ Bash too and see you all again! Who knows, by then I might even be able to say “my novel is ready for beta-readers… hint hint”! :D

      Liked by 1 person

      • It’s not often I “move” anyone – I’ll have to try that again some time!
        It would be great to see you again at the BB. And if I ever get myself over to Paris, I’ll have to let you know (so you’ve got time to come up with your excuses…).
        Beta reading hints… I know where you’re going with that. You’d better check with Geoffle first if my feedback was any good for his forthcoming book.

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  5. Whooppeee! Congratulations on the decision. I love your characterisation of the two voices. I reckon the bully voice is just jealous of all the achievements. Listen to Wise and relish Paris.

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    • I love how excited you are for me! Thank you so much for your enthusiasm and positive attitude!!! I’ll share my new Paris discoveries here – I have a feeling this blog will become quite international with all the Moroccan/London/Sofia/Paris posts…

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  6. Your Wise voice and Bully voice are what I equate to Love and Fear. Love always nurtures and leads me to light. And Fear? Well, Fear has had its way with all of us for far too long. So glad you are not allowing it to cloud your thoughts.

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  7. Well that was brave of you… to admit it to yourself, never mind to all of us. I hope you’re not running away, because that never helps, it only distracts. Temporarily. Don’t listen to the bugly, and don’t be too hard on yourself. You’re young, have fun and enjoy your life, dont waste it on regrets and desiring what you can’t have or lost. Paris will be such a great adventure. I am quite envious. And with your talents, I’m sure you’ll do well at whatever life puts in your path. Xxx

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